Saturday, July 26, 2008

Away From The Pack

Hey people... whatz up?.. Its me blogging from some cybercafe opposite USM.


This is the first time i'm able to get a internet connection long enough for me to blog after a week. There are free internet service in the varsity library but there are many restrictions such as youtube, malaysiakini and onemanga, and its only free for 30 minutes. you can't do much besides research.





My life in USM so far is considered quite hectic. Its understandable because I've missed 2 weeks of classes and I need to catch up with my coursemates ASAP.... I just had my calculus quiz last friday and another test is coming up on the opening day of the Olympics. So basicly when other people take one step at a time, i probably have to take 2.





We second intakers do have an advantage though. We are basicly tougher. Yea yea, I know its hard to believe but at least we wont take things for granted anymore. When i first step into the uni, I knew if I have to add life to my years, this is the time because I realised last time i only add years to my life and not the other way round.





I always had been out of luck and never even shine once in my school life. Perhaps USM is a stepping stone for a late bloom. One of my new motto which I wanted to hold on to was to be ahead of the others. But when i stepped in, I was already 2 weeks behind!!!





How am I going to break away from the pack when I'm just at the begining of the journey? Last monday I was 14 days late... Today I'm probably 8 days late... I am catching up as you see but this ain't easy... Hopefully by next monday I'm on par with them. Whether this will remain a fantasy or reality its depends on my will....





lol... Sometimes I really wonder am I doing the right thing being here with this kind of spirits. It may just be an unreachable dream. but then I said to myself again. Its never wrong to dream an impossible dream because being able to dream it is the first step towards making the dream a reality.





Therefore, breaking away from the pack is still very possible.





okla.. i got to go now de... its gonna rain soon i guess.. haha... btw... here is a pic of my faculty.



School of Mathematical Sciences


pretty nice huh.... its kinda new compared to the rest... I try to get more pics next time... cyaz people.. and take care

Monday, July 14, 2008

this little part of my life....

how did I fared in the past 4 week?
If I've been telling you I'm okay last time.... sorry, I lied....

I wasn't OK, but I wasn't dead either. People most likely think I will be depressed. But surprisingly, I wasn't either. I was just impatient and sometimes angry at myself. I was becoming nocturnal at first because I hope the day passes by faster as somehow or rather I always thought the night goes by faster then the day... silly huh... Being nocturnal doesnt makes me a Dark Knight. I soon became an insomniac after that. Scary huh, all within a month of being left alone in Ipoh waiting for the appeals.

During all these sleepless nights, there was one fine night I thought to myself."Since I don't have the mood to study or work, why don't i use this one month time to reflect at myself what I've done that brought me into this situation and how I can actually rectify it. It sounds kinda tough but its do-a-ble.

The biggest problem with me is walking the talk. I'm the one among my friends who actually have big dreams and the one most unlikely to achieve anything is also me myself.. haha, it really sounds cynical at time but its actually a problem. The first time I ever walked the talk is this year when I was working in Citrus and for the first time till now, I believe I can endure hardship not just literally, but practically as well.

When i looked myself in the mirror, I told myself I wasn't fine. But its better for me to be not fine now then to be not fine years later when I'm old. I'm young and I can still pick myself up. And every fall makes a man stronger....

Its kinda weird during this period too. I've came out with silly ideas or quotes which I think that can help me. Probably it did worked out after all... here are two of it..

"God only help those who help themselves"
With this line, i picked up my reading habit again as I thought God would rather help a person who made full used of his time rather then one who sits down aimlessly waiting for something to happen.

"How do you define a try? A try is something which is EXPECTED to fail but if you do succeed, you are a real man"
Wow, this is my personal favorite. I dunno where i got this... I think it came out of my day dream or something like that... haha... So if the appeals was just a try, its is something which I expected to fail but if i do succeed, I can tell the whole world I did pull through the mental endurance....

And today... It finally came.
0945 Hours,
I got my results and gained entry to University Sains Malaysia, Bsc. in Applied Statistics.
It wasn't my choice but the if uni is good and the course is not too shabby, I'm contented.
I consider myself pretty lucky to get into USM as most people in the forum either get into the sub urban varsities or didn't get anything at all... In fact, only around 6 of us in the forum got through the appeals. Most of them failed.

God probably told me to wait a little longer so I can strengthen myself be more grateful in my life next time. Because for wilson ng, nothing comes easy in life.And because I took Sixth Form for granted, i probably paid all my dues now.
In this 1 month, I had indeed been living through the very famous Forest Gump Theme by John Williams. Full of up and downs with different moods and tempo....

and I can finally tell myself I've found this very little part of my life called
Happiness...

The Pursuit of Happiness is based on the true story of Christopher Gardner, a family man struggling to make ends meet, the film takes some liberties with Gardner's actual story.
This is the ending, when he is being told that he got the job. The emotions can be seen clearly on Smith's face. Lovely scene, Very nicely done by Will Smith. This is my favorite scene of the movie.

of course... I wouldn't had done it without the support of my friend and especially, my family. thanks and Penang, here I come.