Thursday, June 19, 2008

After Dark

"When you tried your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
stuck in reverse"
~coldplay~

Did you realise something about my blog all these years. There ain't many good news. In fact, its so little, its almost negligible. And i thought, for that split second, I can finally deliver some good news to all of you from my side. But in actual fact, this is indeed the worst news I have to deliver so far. I had reach a new low in my life. I couldn't get accepted to any local varsity. its indeed the darkest hour of my life to be frank.

Yeap, the thing which I had been so passionate for the past few months had to come to such an end. It may sound like the end but just to think back, It is kinda the end of the world already for me.

I am a student,
My only objective is to graduate,
and I can't even reach it.

On that night, sms were pouring in.
"Heyz, I got into USM/UM. Heyz I got my first choice. Go and check la and tell me the good news."
Okay, the ministry's server is finaly open. Click it and it said I flung. For that moment, I really couldn't breath. Okay.. chill, maybe the info is wrong, calm down and check again.
One more time reality hits me again..........

I dont really know how should I be feeling that time. Sad, disappointed or angry? I was just plain shock.Its not like i've applied for First tier courses like Medic or Chem Eng. Its GeoPhysics and my CGPA was way higher then the requirement. In fact, my cgpa was kind of in a comfortable zone for majority of the courses I've applied. Pretty much in despair, I didnt sleep the whole night. Just when i thought the war is over and the battle is won, I still have to march on to the battle field again for the very last time. This time is going to be tough, because it is a lone journey.

I've actually given up even on the last battle and waiting for deportation. But it is my dream to get in to a university. If i give up now, will I be able to face my friends in the future? If i loose the will to fight on, can I stand up on both feet again? If i got a dream, I should cling to it until the very end. You shouldn't loose your rights even in the pursuit of happiness.

"If you got a dream, protect it.
Never let anyone tell you can't do it, not even me"
~chris gardner~

This excerpt from The Pursuit Of Happyness suddenly came into my mind and then, I woke up. I need to search for the light in the dark and never let anyone look down on me anymore. If it takes me ages and miles to run to make an appeal happen, I'll run and I will walk the line. I've tried hard, but maybe I have to try harder. After all, this is my last stride and it will last for another month. I've battled 2 years, what is another month to me?

If the appeal fails, which is possible, then i'll have to wait till January for MMU. I dont want to think so far yet as I need to work out July first.
I can't believe I'm saying this but, I really need your prayers, all of it. Prayers for me to get strong and persevere on, Prayers that I can get through to the university. If you love me, pray for me till you listen from me. I really need to get out this bad luck spell which is happening with me for the past few years. this is a plea and its my last resort to work out in the last stride.

Sometimes I feel I exist for others to be grateful with their current situation.
thank you and I shall promise you a blog with good news. I am still searching for this small part of my life called.............

happiness.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

of rainy days and sandy bays

Hi there. I've just got back from penang. Yea, I know it kind of inappropriate to go for a holiday now. But at least, I can take away my mind for the varsity entrance thingie. I just dont know why must we wait so bloody long. At the end of May, The Higher Education Ministry said the results will be known within 2 weeks together with the PSD appeal results. Its already Friday the 13th today and I dont see any sign of it neither. Have they already lost their time frame?

Anyway, what the heck, just chill in the island for a while first la. Furthermore, accommodation is 101% free..haha.. When we reached penang, The island was deserted of tourist. Its understandable as holidays are over. We only saw a good number of singaporeans as they just started their semester break. So don't even think about pretty girls clad in swimsuit, We will never find one..haha..

Our first destination was Muka Beach. Lol, some of us got tricked thinking it was a chill-out bar like The Beach in Jalan Sultan Ismail... Here are a few reasons coming from one source. Teik tzuan made it sound like this. "Hey, wanna go to Mocha Beach? Hoy Keat said we can chill out at the beach and kick some sands".. Ok, the keyword was Mocha and Chill-Out, must be a happening place la. Everyone wore their best beach wear ( bright coloured clothings with flip-flops), except for Evon who wore office wear ( G2000 Shirt and Skirt)(Looks like she is going to sue some hunks by the beach for public display of affection, PDA..haha.. )When we reach there, we saw nothing but a USM fishery office and a deep forest. Aik, something wasn't right, and I asked Hoy Keat, where is the Mocha Place? Itz a beach la, 1 and a half hours hike from here.

Wait.... Hike?, I tot chill?.. Teik is so going to pay for this as he interpreted the message wrongly. When I heard the word Hike, I know my body is ever ready for it thanks to my weekly hiking in Kledang but my gear isn't! I'm wearing flip flops for god sake and you want me to trail the forest?! But anyway, we did it either. Its funny to see a bunch of rowdy fellas trek the jungle with sandals. Some of us wore as if they are going to Queensbay Mall, while the guys looks like we are going to pasar malam... alamak...
The starting of the trail, You think its that built up along the trek, you are totally wrong!
Yeap, this is the first 5 minutes of the trail. Wait till it ends, 1 hour 30 mintes later..haha

First, we have planks on our path, then rocks and finally, boulders, fallen trees and mud. Some of us clearly aren't ready for it. Kho Kaa nearly fainted and some people nearly fell because there aren't enough traction in our sandals. Its indeed a challenging hike. Our guide, Hoy Keat's mat salleh friend, Mark went off so fast, we ended up trailing the forest ourself. There are some obstacle which seems so unpassable made us think that we are lost. Anyway, there are no turning back as we are so deep in and we are losing daylight. Our only hope is Cheon Yuen's basic instinct and some loose trails along the way... when we thought we were lost, we saw a path ahead of us
YATAA!!!! we finally made it. We just followed the wooden stairs and we finally reach Muka Head, Our rendezvous for the day. When we reach there, everyone was so exhausted, we just tried to find the boat and hop into it. The boat ride to mainland just took us 15 Minutes..
Dengz... 12 km walk and probably 2 km boat ride back... not proportional la wei. Anyway, we were glad that we were alive at the end of the day and yea, there wasn't any mocha or even kopi for us at the beach. Teik were held responsible for it, poor fella.

After that, the usual la, we went to gurney to have dinner and came back. Kee Cheong decided to watch Exorcism of Emily Rose on tv. Cheon Yuen was scared but held everyone hostage to watch with him. It isn't a horror movie la to start with, just a bit gory, thatz all. Some of use even fell asleep, how nice.

Next day, we went to Air Itam for some sight seeing and food. When we are in kek lok si, we used a 45 degree lift to get on the other side of the hill. Apparently, its the first of its kind but it looks kinda familiar to me..haha
we used 4 bucks to go up and see a Kuan Yin statue under contruction, how nice... lol... we decided to take some cranky photos which most of it turns out hilarious, just like this one below.
The Furious Five ( Cheon"BesiMan"Yuen, Teik"ChinaMan"Tzuan, Siew"Charlies Aunty"Wei, Kee"Gummy Bear Hulk"Cheong, and Wai "Jims Bong" Soon ) and the Serious Two (with Evon sweating away and Xuan just being herself, *blur*)

The next day was just pure relaxing on the beach and amazing race to the bus station. We manage to make it on time to the bus station with 2 minutes to spare. Like a typical Penang Trip, we ate a lot and ate non-stop. And for the first time, we made full use of Rapid Penang. Its kinda reliable but it ain't as rapid as it sounds. Probably we need something called Furious Penang or Rempit Penang, then we will have buses speeding all the way.. hahaha.

Thatz all for now. I will remember this trip as one of my last trips together with my school mate because after this, I really don't know when we will be able to meet up like this ever again. Semester breaks will differ in some Uni and some of us may be far separated from each other.

Okayz, i got to work now, Its my final 3 days in Citrus. So its back to Kan Cheong Kitchen..haha..
bye people...

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Concerto

Some of you are able to judge my "busyness" through the frequency of my blog. I won't say you are entirely wrong. I was busy for the past 4 week.

A lot of people, including some of my colleagues in citrus thought I was lazing around at home when i wasn't working. That remained a dream till now. I was busy with the band's built up to its latest edition of concert, For Wonderful Friendship 2008.

Being in the band since 2001, I've involved directly and indirectly in 4 concerts. Being a player in the first 3 edition and an emcee for the latest one. When I saw the number of hands rose up when Munming asked who is a first timer.,I really get the feeling i'm pretty aged out already. haha..

But for bandsmen who are involved in the concert, its not a one day performance job. It takes weeks of practice and also sponsorship sourcing. This time, I'm more of the behind the scene kinda guy. I wasn't there during practice days, but I'm there almost every non-practice days. The only people i interact with are the organizers.

The sponsorship wasn't as good as last time. Judging form the thickness of the advertising book, money is coming slow. In 2005, we were struck by the "tsunami" when all the residence of ipoh gave the same excuse of not giving sponsorship because they had donated it to Aceh. This year, we were struck by the Cyclone and Earthquake. Whoa, sure die la.

Probably they found another target! I hope its reachable..haha


A lot of new methods were used this time. Advertising in voteband, advertising in major newspapers. Finding back allumnis for hefty donations. The newspaper was the funny part. We had our members becoming part time models for the band.
I have to admit, this is a little cheezy..haha

I've went to many schools and even help to promote in some of it. Trust me, 1 out of 3 schools i went don't understand what I said. I have to deliver once in English, then Cantonese and later on thier band leader does it in mandarin. Yikes, english command outside the City Centre is still in critical conditions. To be a people's person in malaysia, you probably need to know at least 3 languages.

But my biggest challenge yet for this edition of concert is becoming an Emcee. Aik...
Though I have no stage fright, but I also have zero experience as an Emcee... Everything was so awkward. But with good and workable partners, I've pull it through.. Its not a good job le I would say, but its pass-a-ble la i guess... The post-emcee-ing duty still gives me goosebumps sometimes. I guess it will take sometime to forget about it. But indeed it was a great experience. At least i've risen my benchmark from hosting 450 people to 1000 people.


Will the real slim shady please stand up?
Reminds me of the good old days. Well, this aren't my generation either.

Okla.... thatz all for now... My next blog will be up either on the penang trip or my Uni Results... I'm actually kinda worried for my varsity entrance now... very worried indeed.. life just have to go on...