Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath.....
Its been 4 year and reality never smack that hard on my face before.
My dream of working in an open ocean oil rig came to an end today....
It all ended when Dr Noordin told me it was extremely difficult to get into geophysics based on my STPM results. However, he told me to take up masters in geophysics,
but seriously, that is the future. 3 years down the road, can I still make it?
I didn't know how much would my disastrous STPM result will effect me till today.
Just when I thought I can change my past and start anew, past failures come haunting me again..
I guess, there is no such thing as running away from history. When your record is scratched, nothing can mend it except a time machine to bring my back to 2007. I really wish i can go back to 2007 and bash up the old lazy me who is unwilling to work and take things for granted.
I know I've changed pretty much today compared to 2007. But sometimes, its just too late. The lesson here is
"Change your destiny when you still have the chance. Change it now, never wait for tomorrow"
When people tell me the last 8 weeks before STPM can change your life for the next 40 year, it is really true, I truly and regretfully understand it today.
I should had change it back in 2007....... in 2009, its all over.
I really don't know how should I act now. I'm surely not happy, but I can't spread the infectious emotional virus to my friends around me. Seriously, I think my coursemates won't understand my emotions now as they all hope I can stay in Applied Stats.
For the first time, I really feel like crying, but I really don't know how. The only thing I need to tell myself is to move on and live your current reality. This period will be a lone journey as I don't expect people to understand my passion to work in the middle of the ocean.
I only know now I need to accept facts that I need to work well in my finals next month so I wont regret in the future like now. This is tough and why god put me in such paths. Just to understand pain better than other people?
Do I really deserve this?
Yes I do,
And you can just put the blame on me. I don't have excuses
Pull me through..... pull me through... please
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6 comments:
You'll pull through, u know...when they say there's a will, there's a way..it's true. u just have to be determine enough. don't let time and age factors affect u. if u really want it, then think about masters in geophysics. it's more credible when u have two different backgrounds
STPM results doesn't mean everything in life.. stop pondering on the past and look forward.. appreciate what you have now and take mistakes as experiences, never to dwell within the past..
you can achieve your dreams in life if you can manage to work with what you have at the moment.. this is just the beginning of your future career!
all the best! =)
yo fren...
dun b so negative 1st
mayb there stil a chance for you 2 go into geophysics
anythings cn happen 2mrw n u will never knw...
jus do ur best 2day and prepare well 4 2mrw...
miracle always happenned and the god may bless you all the times
smile always ya =)
finally ur back with an update, albeit a negative one..haha..u should know that me, xuan, sw and kc will support u despite our somewhat distance..and this sounds old fashion but never give up!! every ending is a new beginning..u got us firmly behind u..hope to c u back home soon..
hell, screw STPM...it's all in the past now...focus on the present and the future...
sometimes, what you desire the most will not be within your grasps at the moment but if you truly want it, you can work for it...just don't give up...
and if you're facing problems and in need of an outlet to express it, you can come look for me...
hey bro, I'm sure no matter how much it takes, you'll be able to pull it through! I have confidence in you, you can do it!
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