this little part of my life....

how did I fared in the past 4 week?
If I've been telling you I'm okay last time.... sorry, I lied....

I wasn't OK, but I wasn't dead either. People most likely think I will be depressed. But surprisingly, I wasn't either. I was just impatient and sometimes angry at myself. I was becoming nocturnal at first because I hope the day passes by faster as somehow or rather I always thought the night goes by faster then the day... silly huh... Being nocturnal doesnt makes me a Dark Knight. I soon became an insomniac after that. Scary huh, all within a month of being left alone in Ipoh waiting for the appeals.

During all these sleepless nights, there was one fine night I thought to myself."Since I don't have the mood to study or work, why don't i use this one month time to reflect at myself what I've done that brought me into this situation and how I can actually rectify it. It sounds kinda tough but its do-a-ble.

The biggest problem with me is walking the talk. I'm the one among my friends who actually have big dreams and the one most unlikely to achieve anything is also me myself.. haha, it really sounds cynical at time but its actually a problem. The first time I ever walked the talk is this year when I was working in Citrus and for the first time till now, I believe I can endure hardship not just literally, but practically as well.

When i looked myself in the mirror, I told myself I wasn't fine. But its better for me to be not fine now then to be not fine years later when I'm old. I'm young and I can still pick myself up. And every fall makes a man stronger....

Its kinda weird during this period too. I've came out with silly ideas or quotes which I think that can help me. Probably it did worked out after all... here are two of it..

"God only help those who help themselves"
With this line, i picked up my reading habit again as I thought God would rather help a person who made full used of his time rather then one who sits down aimlessly waiting for something to happen.

"How do you define a try? A try is something which is EXPECTED to fail but if you do succeed, you are a real man"
Wow, this is my personal favorite. I dunno where i got this... I think it came out of my day dream or something like that... haha... So if the appeals was just a try, its is something which I expected to fail but if i do succeed, I can tell the whole world I did pull through the mental endurance....

And today... It finally came.
0945 Hours,
I got my results and gained entry to University Sains Malaysia, Bsc. in Applied Statistics.
It wasn't my choice but the if uni is good and the course is not too shabby, I'm contented.
I consider myself pretty lucky to get into USM as most people in the forum either get into the sub urban varsities or didn't get anything at all... In fact, only around 6 of us in the forum got through the appeals. Most of them failed.

God probably told me to wait a little longer so I can strengthen myself be more grateful in my life next time. Because for wilson ng, nothing comes easy in life.And because I took Sixth Form for granted, i probably paid all my dues now.
In this 1 month, I had indeed been living through the very famous Forest Gump Theme by John Williams. Full of up and downs with different moods and tempo....

and I can finally tell myself I've found this very little part of my life called
Happiness...

The Pursuit of Happiness is based on the true story of Christopher Gardner, a family man struggling to make ends meet, the film takes some liberties with Gardner's actual story. This is the ending, when he is being told that he got the job. The emotions can be seen clearly on Smith's face. Lovely scene, Very nicely done by Will Smith. This is my favorite scene of the movie.

of course... I wouldn't had done it without the support of my friend and especially, my family. thanks and Penang, here I come.