Lone Battle

When you feel the weight of the world is on shoulders, what do you do?

You give up?

You dream of getting away?

Or you work on?

This is one of the question I threw to myself before my exam this morning.

Today I had one of the heaviest examination sessions of my life. 6 hours of Calculus and Statistic. After the exam, I got so numb that the only thing I felt is the chest pain I got halfway during my statistics examination.

When I was going through calculus this morning, I observed a lot of things. It doesn’t mean I’m dreaming or spacing, but how do you expect me not to see things happening beside me?

There were a total of 9 people around me in the examination hall….

The first one left an hour later, then followed by the second guy 30 minutes later. At the end of the exam, there are only 4 people left around my table… I was really tempted to go out and give up on my exams because it was so bloody tough. It was even tougher then STPM my god!! To make things worst, my statistics was even tougher than calculus.

I was so torn apart, flipping through questions like nobody’s business. And then a vague voice came in my head.

Giving up? Is that even you?

What the hell, my head is talking to me? I got to be crazy, Wake up my boy!! Cripes!!

And is that moment, I know, I need inspiration quick…

Obama.. that didn’t do the trick..

He is an inspiration to me but that thatz a whole different inspiration

In search for inner strength, I remembered my journey to the university… Now, thatz not an inspiration, thatz a reality check… But it worked…

4.30 pm : Pens down, eyes shut, air grasped…. And right in that moment, I knew, things aint gonna change if I give up now. The hardest man to fight in endurance like this is yourself because in the exam hall, you are not sparring against the paper, you are sparring with yourself. The lazy self against the hardworking one, the hard headed one against the side where you will give up .

4.33 pm : All eyes on the paper again and this time, I will try to do everything in it…

You’ll find it funny when 3 minutes can change someone’s preference just like a snap of a finger. It is this 3 minutes, I renewed my endurance and I was able to sit through the paper till the very end.

Though the paper was tough (It was bloody tough!!!), I know I had tried my best. Though my best wasn’t enough in some contexts but I’ll still have to move forward as my journey doesn’t ends here.

I'll take a rest from here.. cyaz